November 30, 2013
Time has finally slowed down. That, “Life is a roller coaster,” saying has really been the only consistent thing in my life this past year. From traveling the country to losing my best guy friend to a girl and losing my best girl friend to that guy, I have been crushed and I have been on top of the world. Family struggles that ache the heart and others that revive it. Through everything I am reminded of how blessed I am to feel the things I feel. The sadness and happiness reassures that I care and how precious life is.
I have finally finished my journey around the country. A total of 55 days, 35 states, 25 Colleges, 7 high schools, and an unknown number of impacted individuals. Before I left on the journey there were 3 things that really influenced me to go.
The first was the feeling of never knowing what would happen if I decided to stay. Staying would have been easy and probably the safest thing to do, given that I had a solid job, a place to live, great roommates, an awesome boss, coworkers that I loved, and 100 other reasons of why staying was a good idea.
The second was my passion. Everyone has the ultimate dream whether they know what it is or not. My dream revolves around a camera. Whether I’m in the shot or looking straight at it, everything feels right when I have a camera in my hand. I had a job that I loved but a dream that was bigger. I knew going after this dream, nothing was guaranteed.
The third was that one person who could truly influence me. Some people have a best friend, a significant other, a family member, or whatever it might be that they truly listen to their opinion and know that their answer may decide the outcome of any situation. For me it was one girl that meant the world to me. I would always try to figure out what she was thinking, not to be nosey but because I wanted to know what I could do to make her smile, laugh, or just get a big hug from. I would make sure to remember all the little things that I knew she liked. So I could surprise her with Peanut Butter M&Ms or one of her two favorite ice creams: Mint Chip or Pistachio. I knew she did not drink soda much but if she was ever feeling crazy I would be sure to keep a Diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge just for her. I knew if she said, “Go for it,” then there would be no reason for me to stay. So I went.
For the Past two months everything has been happening to fast to really stop and take in but now that everything has slowed, I can finally catch up on my overwhelming mind. I have a new set of goals and have reorganized what is important to me. I want to spend more time with my family and let them know how much I care about them. I want to be at my nephew’s first high school game and my nieces first school dance. I want to be there for my friends when they need a ride home from the airport at 1am. I want to be a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. I want to make the happiest of memories that will last forever in someone else’s mind.
I don’t think I’ve changed as a person or believe that I’m better than anyone. I just believe that I can be a better me and that is what I want to do.