There are many things that go on everyday that the people around you know just by the sight of your actions, but nobody truly knows what you are feeling on the inside especially if you cover it up. Smiles and laughter on the outer level but incomplete thoughts and wonders beyond control on the inside.
No matter where you are from, the road can be the most exhilarating place in the world. Mystery and excitement at every turn. Everyday is different and you see so many new places and faces. Who wouldn’t want that? That is what I thought I wanted. Go wherever I wanted with no strings attached. Be as crazy as I wanted to be and not have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of people I would never see again. Traveling from state to state, people keep telling me how lucky I am and how jealous they are of my life. I tell them “it’s an awesome experience,” but at the same time I’m really admiring their life. I see them smiling with their friends while their fingers interlaced with their girlfriend’s. I’m realizing more and more about what I want in life. Deciphering through what is important and what is superficial.
I’ve tricked myself into believing I needed a certain job, and certain things in life to make me happy. I made myself believe if I was not doing something adventures then I was wasting time. Being adventures is just part of what makes me happy but if I have a plate of cookies and no milk or a bag of popcorn with no movie or friend to share it with, then I’m missing some very important factors, probably the most important.
I am so thankful for this tour, as exciting as it is, it is equally hard and frustrating. Traveling the country in a tour bus is not as glamorous as it sounds especially when you are trying to do something that has never been done before. The team is always moving, never wasting a minute. Some days I just want to lay in the grass and be invisible to the world and do nothing but watch the clouds pass me by, but I know that day will come soon and I will enjoy it so much more than I have in the past. I now know how much I truly appreciate all the little things, because when they are gone you can truly see how big they really are.
Everyday I’m gaining a greater outlook on life and i’m becoming more appreciative of all the small things in life. I have the best support team in the world. Even while I’m thousands of miles away from home I’m reminded by my family and friends how much they care. There is nothing more important to me than the people in my life. It does not matter if I’m on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean or if i’m stuck in traffic on the 5. I am truly happy when I’m surrounded by those I love. I’m excited for a lot of things in the future but right now I’m excited most to see my friends and hug them. Three more days.